Fasting in new phase? ♥

Ramadhan is back!!!

But now it's a little bit different. Previously, i celebrated it with my family, but now, things were changed. I did it with my husband ♥hehe

A lot of funny things had happened, but actually, im not really in a good mood of writing it here as i completely running out of ideas~ LOL

But no worries, soon perhaps, when my mind is back to normal again, i'll write down the experience of fasting as husband and wife.

till then,

May Allah Bless

[1438:24082009_SH]

Memoirs of my LATE grandfather

Being in a sentimental mode today, i just couldn't get myself out from some memoirs that perfectly glued in my mind. Today i just want to write up about my dad's family, which the one that have been kept in my mind for more than 10 years. No offence here, or not trying to buka pekung di dada (is it the right peribahasa?-gasak), but i just want to say that i need my family back again. My dad needs his family desperately eventhough he just stay in mute.

my wedding day was the great day. Not because of the wedding itself, but, how i can see my dad was happy as he got his family back together again, eventhough it was just for a moment. I watched the video and i can see how happy my dad was, especially when he got all his siblings around. And i? i was happy too, but at the same time, im sad because my grandfather wasn't around with me... with us.

Everybody makes mistake. All of us cant escape from making mistakes intentionally or otherwise. But i do believe that God must have his own reason on turning things into something that we never ask for. I still remeber when i have my first chat with my late grandfather few months back after more than 10 years of lost contact. How i really am happy when we spoke together in a very short conversations. He kept on asking me on when can i pay him a visit to Terengganu as his health condition wasn't really good anymore.


We first met again after more than years during ayah ju's wedding. Eventhough it was just for one day, but i appreciate it loads. The moment before i left, i hugged my late grandfather, and i saw tears came out from his eyes. I was really touched, but there's nothing i can do. I was like an alien during the wedding, and some of the family just couldn't recognize me anymore. But i really am grateful to god for the opportunity as i can show to my sisters and told them,

"hey, look... he's your uncle, that one is your uncle's too, that one is your step grandmother, that one is your aunty, she is your cousin, he is your cousin, they are your cousins, and can you see the old man standing out there?? he is our grandfather"

*sigh*.. After about a month i did called my late grandfather and of course, once again he had asked me of when am i able to visit him in Terengganu, and i just couldn't answer it, until one day, when me and my family were in Kota Kinabalu, dad received a news that my late grandfather have been hospitalized. His condition was quite bad. We went to Terengganu like every 2 weeks to visit him, except my parents. They travelled to Terengganu like every week. How i can see through my dad's eyes as there's no other things that he could ask for more other than to be at his father's side for every single minute. He just wanted to appreciate the moment as much as he can. Well, we cant stop the takdir that already had fated when my grandfather finally left us to be with the god. Al-fatihah...


May Allah Bless
[1353:14082009_SH]

H.A.R.R.Y - P.O.T.T.E.R

Currently listening to : bird chirping in the bushes

Went for midnight movie @ sunway pyramid last night with hubby. Watched Harry Potter and the Half blood prince. Harry potter used to be one of my favourite movie but this one seems a little bit dissappointing. Well, i don't know, if JK Rowling is going to write another book after the half blood prince, then i'll have to agree the story line was like that. But if it is the last one, i would say that i regret to stay up late until 2am :C

the movie was like this, there were 3 scoundrels (Dark Lord peoples) yang keep on searching for Harry and Dumbledore, and they used Draco Malfoy as a path for them to enter the Hogwarts. And for the first time, in this movie, Draco Malfoy turned to become a lone ranger, quiet, depress and believe that he was the chosen one. (chosen for what? that was my Q too).

And, as i thought since the first Harry Potter, Professor Snape is an evil person as he's the one who killed Dumbledore, thus, Snape wasn't my liking either.during Harry's first class with Professor "dumbledore's-bestfriend", he found one book that belongs to the Half Blood Prince, and Harry thought it was belongs to Tom Riddle at first until finally Snape claimed that "i am the half blood prince"anyway, the story macam tergantung. Harry promised himself to cari the killer. ??? Arghhhhh.. i am disappointed!!!!catch up later.. i need to go back to subang.. daa..

may allah bless

[1532:25072009_SH]

Plan.. Plan.. Plan..

Currently listening to : Anis craps

Today i can say that my life was filled when Anis came over to my house just because to hang out with me and have F.U.N!!!.

It was kind of amazing when she skipped her part-time job just for me. I just wondering if she wasn't there with me especially the time where i can go insane in any minutes thinking of world's problems surrounded around me. Eventually, after endless second thoughts and procrastination, i managed to begged Anis to come to my place.. *wink..wink..* thank you dear~ it is such a wonderful day for me where we can hang out together with plenty heart to heart girl's talk. My current spare time really need to be occupied before i turn insane analyzing every single trivial details of my unsettled heart and life *uhuu.. me being dramatic??*

We did planned for something.. to be rich? definitely.. only me and Aniss will know the plan.. will proceed the plan next wednesday.. Im having this melancholic thoughts of whether i make a the right choice or not, but i do believe in god's faith that is already stated for me, with good doa and such, me and anis will make it. We can change our life to a better ones..

May Allah Bless
[2024:17072009_SH]

B.e.E.p - b.E.E.p

Being so sentimental today for NO reason ~ngeeee.. well, lets do not think of those things that can drag me into the tears world.. uh... that's pain..

Definitely the Ada Cinta song wont suits me at this moment, or can be say it will never ever suits me as i already have my Endless Love.. and he is my entirely, my love, my hubby.. hubby!!! i heart you!!!! *blush*

i still remember when i was really in bored few days back and i really got nothing to do. Nothing seriously. And i also have this sudden impromptu idea of packing up all my things as well as hubby's, catch any earliest flight to any destination with long journey duration as i love to be in an airplane with my hubby *wink..wink* well, i know that it wouldnt happen as he's hectically busy with work *sob..sob*

anyway, eventhough i got frustrated with the current condition, still i really am happy when he came back from work, he took me out for movie. We chose Alamanda. The nearest from our place. We went for 11.50pm Transformers which ended around 3am *whoaa..*
3am at Alamanda, that was my first time of being there like pagi-pagi buta *giggles* and our car was the only left at the P4 carpark. Tragic night for me as we have to walk all over from the autopay machine somewhere at P2 to P4. Hilarious though. Well, that doesn't matter much, on the brighter side, i got something from my husband when im in need of his positive vibes and we shared giggles together. That was the sweetest things..

thank you so much hun, i love you ~

May Allah Bless
[1205:15072009_SH]

10 Line Spillage

Hajar's 10 line spillage

1 - it's much easier to spill to a stranger, spares the stigma and the judgement.

2 - it's much easier to be understood by somebody who has been there and done that.

3 - everybody has skeletons in their closet.

4 - i don't say "take a bit from my plate, chew, telan then talk" for no reason.

5 - reality hurts, truth bites, living kills, today tortures, and yerterdays are just as bad, what else is new? the only comfort is knowing we're proudly smart enough to live life the way we want it, though other will never fail to try to screw it for us, we prove them wrong. Again and again.

6 - a friend can be a good psychologist, but sometimes i doubt it vice versa.

7 - psychiatrist + Doctor + Meds = Bittersweet vendetta.

8 - there are times when we want to be vulnerable though how thick skinned we appear

9 - believing on god's love, live on because of his love, nothing can beat that, i know you'd agree.

10 - they have no idea what i understand from the word "MIRROR" because i hate what i see looking back at me.there are times when strangers are ike family and family are like strangers. Reality bites and truth hurts.

Welcome to h-e-a-r-t world!!

may allah bless
[1852:09072009_SH]

Bismillah....


Dedicated to:-

My all: Masrizwan Mohamed

The wonderful people who picked up my pieces and glued it back together with tender-loving-care, patience and unconditional love, my anchor throughout the storm and turbulence: Mak and Ayah

My lifeguards: Angah, Acik, Adik and Baby Ily

My silver-lining bearers: jah

My very own Godsent blessings: Anis, Kak Hannan, Salmi, Jaz

My cruthes: people who cares.

Allah protects those spreading love through
its glory
Where are those who love one another through
my glory?
Today i shall give them shade in
my shade, its being a day when
there is no shade, but my my shade.
It was related by Al-Bukhari (also by Malik)

Everybody is talking about the death of late Michael Jackson. Here and there, every angle of the world. But the lost of him is undeniable. God had created us and he can take it back without a sign. Eventhough i'm not a big fan of MJ, still, i can feel the sadness of loosing him in the industry yet, i'm happy that died in Islam.
He was born in 1958, same year as my mom. It clearly shows, bukan yang tua saja akan mati, kanak-kanak juga mati, kita yang muda juga boleh mati.. it is just a matter of time.. when and where.. only god knows. Grateful to god as my mom is still here in this world with me, with dad and sisters.
Anyway, last night, i've read my diary and i did wrote something in it. Was thinking to write in this blog and share it to anyone who passing by this page (if any).

you call it boring
you call it drama
you call it cliche
you call it too much spice
as for me
i call it L.I.F.E..

WELCOME ABOARD

"... ini hikayat sebuah bicara..
bicara bumbung namanya..."

Al-Ankabut (29 : 2)
~ Adakah mereka merasakan mereka telah beriman sedangkan mereka belum di uji? ~
(ayat yang di pegang sebagai pengubat luka bila hati di uji.. when faith is put at test. Sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang2 yang sabar.. itu janji-Nya)

hidup kita tak selalunya lawa, tak selalunya ada pelangi. Kalau nak kata a bed of roses pun, duri-durinya tetap ada.. kan?
Kadang-kadang, calamity tu datang and waktu tu kita rasa macam kena gelek ke bumi oleh ahli sumo.
rasa macam dah tak mampu nak bangkit. Giving up will come at this time.
Tapi, waktu apa pun yang jadi, ingat apa yang Dia selalu pesan ~ Allah takkan bebankan hambanya dengan apa yang hambanya tak mampu..
no matter what, no matter when, no matter when it doesn't at all make sense. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR LOVE LETTER'S COMPILATION (i.e like kita punya ultimate life manual, the Quran). It is the last thread to sanity even if everything else failed.

bak kata Hemingway

"life breaks us all, but its in the end, we are stronger in the broken places"
and true... things are easier said than done. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi nahu yang pikul..
yakinlah pada Dia.. Allah Azzawajalla...

may allah bless
[0941:09072009_SH]